Future is a mist for now

Day after day, I am learning to be cope well in any circumstances.
In results, it turns out that I am becoming more numb to what around around me.
I pretty sure that my brain is rusting somewhere and it doesn't get 'juicify' by the correct lubricant.

About college assignments, I just need to arrange my time more systematic.
About friends, I just have to blend in and be humble.
About 7 sisters, I just have to solidify our already never fade friendship.
About family, there is not much I have to worry.

Now, circle back to future.
I am a failure to choose my path correctly.
I should become an ecologist. I just knew it.
I just have to work harder to make the world in peaceful green scenery scientifically.
This was my biggest dream ever since having the knowledge about the earth is dying.
But, to enjoy study in a lazy and comfortable school life, I chose the easy way to pass through the exams with flying colors, to be an ICT student.
I was regret, then no, and at last so much.
Then, move on to after graduate life.
I met a higher education counselor and he recommended me to study Interior Design.
I was so into his speech about the imaginable bright future with the path of being a designer.
It was so wrong. It clouded my soul to be wise.
And now, I am just a very ordinary person with 'so so' designs starting the journey to an unfamiliar artistic world with Da Vinci, Van Gogh and Picasso.

My dream?
Was once to imagine my life centralize with family when I had him.
Now?
Just a very heavy mist in front since I am so numb to the surrounding.
But one thing for sure, I must contribute my knowledge to society one day.
And I just knew that I can do it.